Fifth Year
geek palace

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad: Fuck the government.
Dad: Fuck the school board.
Dad: Close the door.
Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad: I love puns.
Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad: Please shut up.
Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad: They act like I care what they think.
Dad: I hate homework.
Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

avengersonna:

draumbouy:

youraveragebadass:

Avengers Age of Ultron Sneak peak

HULKBUSTER ARMOR OH DEAR GOD
MAN DOWN
MAN FUCKING DOWN

Stop it to close

dammitmishaa:

So my friend came into school one day wearing a dress that had straps and the vice principal came up to her and said “You need to either change or cover your shoulders up because it’ll distract the boys” to which she replied “Well I find boys faces distracting, do they have to cover them up?” and the vice principal said “Maybe you should focus in class more.”

If that doesn’t tell you that things are messed up, then I don’t know what does. 

(Source: deanwinchesteroffiicial)

vinebox:

(Source: liam-hemsworth)

(Source: bocces)

weve-got-your-obsessions:

This is important

weve-got-your-obsessions:

This is important

(Source: monster-mack)

hoodjab:

A Greek doctor has photographed an extremely rare moment during a birth, showing a baby still encased inside the amniotic sac after it has been removed from the mother’s body.

hoodjab:

A Greek doctor has photographed an extremely rare moment during a birth, showing a baby still encased inside the amniotic sac after it has been removed from the mother’s body.

(Source: filmchrist)

blackpowerisforblackmen:

Lupita was recently named the most beautiful by People’s Magazine, and some of their readers expressed their dissatisfaction with this decision  in the comment section. One reader even commented that Lupita didn’t deserve this title because she’s 100% black(she finds women unattractive if they’re 100% black). These comments made me think of the brilliant post made by radicalrebellion: 
White women (non-black women of color included in this as well) become offended and angry when a black woman (especially a dark skinned black woman like Lupita) is depicted as beautiful and worthy of appreciation because it jeopardizes their position as the epitome of beauty and womanhood. Black women are viewed as the antithesis of White beauty and womanhood, these white women are completely apathetic and silent when dark skinned Black women are portrayed as “ugly” and “unlovable” by the mainstream media because they benefit from this oppression. That’s why you never see white supermodels discussing racism and colorism in the fashion industry. However, these readers wouldn’t complain if it were light skinned black women like Halle Berry, Beyonce, or Rihanna (we all know why, hint: colorism). Anyway, congratulations to the ***flawless Lupita for being named the most beautiful!  

blackpowerisforblackmen:

Lupita was recently named the most beautiful by People’s Magazine, and some of their readers expressed their dissatisfaction with this decision  in the comment section. One reader even commented that Lupita didn’t deserve this title because she’s 100% black(she finds women unattractive if they’re 100% black). These comments made me think of the brilliant post made by radicalrebellion

White women (non-black women of color included in this as well) become offended and angry when a black woman (especially a dark skinned black woman like Lupita) is depicted as beautiful and worthy of appreciation because it jeopardizes their position as the epitome of beauty and womanhood. Black women are viewed as the antithesis of White beauty and womanhood, these white women are completely apathetic and silent when dark skinned Black women are portrayed as “ugly” and “unlovable” by the mainstream media because they benefit from this oppression. That’s why you never see white supermodels discussing racism and colorism in the fashion industry. However, these readers wouldn’t complain if it were light skinned black women like Halle Berry, Beyonce, or Rihanna (we all know why, hint: colorism). Anyway, congratulations to the ***flawless Lupita for being named the most beautiful!  

How teens and adults text

andreaschoice:

ir-i-s:

sail0r-sadist:

foreverwholocked:

thewordwielder:

Expectations:

Teens - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff

Adults -  What are you doing today? Want to hang out?

Reality:

Teens - Hey! What you doing today? Want to hang out?

Adults - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff

MY MOTHER

This is actually true.

So true.

accurate

mom, are you reading this?

(Source: hoyitsdashexy)

monsieurminho asked: Cora Hale or Malia Tate

(Source: minhod)

wretchedoftheearth:

once one of my best friends told me that i was wearing too much makeup (i was wearing lip gloss and mascara) and told me that i should have a look that’s more like my other friend (who wears a full face of makeup every day) as she looks more natural and that moment made me realize that men truly do not understand what makeup looks like

theghostoflove
CREDIT